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Don't Turn This Rape Into A Murder (Eat Your Fuckin Waffle)

from The Dream, The Dick, The Split by Skeleton Dick and A Dream Asleep

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about

Much controversy! This is the track named by A Dream Asleep. It has become a fan favorite, second to Oscar Mayer Tampon, even though it was really really hard to write and not sound extremely crass. So what the geniuses at Skeleton Dick came up with was to make the song about a guy who's inadvertently dating a nympho whom he mistakes to be a woodland Nymph...can't get upset about that!

lyrics

Went to the woods to find my little girlfriend in the choke hold
Of a fucking Bear,
Thought I was running to her rescue just in time to hear her,
Scream out his name

I'll take you to the waffle stand
Tie both your legs to your right hand

Don't turn this rape into a murder eat your fucking waffle
Don't turn this rape into a murder eat your fucking waffle

See what happened was I met her at a bitchin christmas party,
She said she was a nymph,
So I asked her about unicorns and other woodland creatures,
She said I think you got it wrong

Now I know that there's no such thing
my woodland nymph is really a nympho queen

Don't turn this rape into a murder eat your fucking waffle
Don't turn this rape into a murder eat your fucking waffle

credits

from The Dream, The Dick, The Split, track released September 30, 2010
Words and Music by Skeleton Dick

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Skeleton Dick Houston, Texas

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